The Crossroads
by Kicollette
Summary: Thorin reluctantly makes a trip to Bree for work, taking Balin, and adolescent Fili and Kili with him. Told from Thorin's perspective as he encounters many surprises in a few short months, from pleasant, to disturbing, to heartbreaking. No slash.


Bree was a stinking cesspool at the best of times, but Thorin knew he was overdue to go. Bree was the hub of all travel and trade in Eriador. He would receive word from the scattered Longbeard settlements a month faster than he could in Blue Mountain. Dwarves of other tribes, and plenty of Men, passed through with news from East of the Misty Mountains. There was a good master smith who paid Thorin what he was worth - meaning he paid him as much as the two best Men at the forge combined. The Eriador Agrarian Guild would be meeting in Bree this year, and it would be the ideal opportunity to begin trade talks, to ensure enough winter wheat for his people at a decent price.

The time was right to go to Bree for a few months, possibly as many as four.

Balin was also coming to Bree, to work with a solicitor who seemed reasonably trustworthy. The man had sought Thorin out last year, eager to understand Dwarf law. Thorin was impressed that this Man wanted to ensure better contracts between the races, and immediately recognized the benefit of it. Balin was a good choice to do the work - translating Dwarf legal volumes and discussing common ground with the solicitor.

Thorin planned to take Fili and Kili with him for the first time. His nephews were at an awkward age - old enough to get into adult trouble, but far too young for Thorin to allow them to make their own decisions about their education and training. Thorin was pleased with his nephews' fighting skills, but Dwarf Princes needed to be more than warriors. They needed to be well versed in language, history, theology, and law. Fili could help Balin translate, becoming fluent in the law of his people and the language of Men at the same time.

Kili would also join them in Bree. Leaving the youngest boy alone with his mother at that age was problematic. Kili was bright, but a magnet for trouble, suffering from what a Dwarf physician described as the worst case of "excessive energy" he had ever seen. Kili was hard enough to keep in school with Fili around to drag him there. Putting Kili in a law library all day would not do either, so Thorin arranged for him to apprentice with a master bow maker that the smith knew. Kili would also come back from this trip fluent in common speech.

"It will be a good education, better than any classroom." Thorin assured his sister.

Dis was not pleased to have both boys away for so long, but she recognized that these were privileged apprenticeships. She wanted her sons to spend more time with their Uncle, and that usually meant on Thorin's terms.

Thorin, Balin, Fili and Kili arrived in Bree with vastly different levels of enthusiasm. Thorin was underwhelmed, Balin was cautiously optimistic, and the young Dwarves were wide-eyes at the newness of it all.

They had arranged to stay in one comfortable room in a respectable inn. The innkeeper's wife had been horrified to have them, but the smith was a friend and vouched for Thorin and his kin.

The Dwarves quickly went to work at their respective posts and fell in to a routine. They discussed the day's events every night over dinner at the inn.

Fili explained how the lawmakers in Bree were shocked at how developed Dwarf law was, especially civil and torte law.

"Did they think all disputes were settled at the end of an ax?" Thorin grumbled.

"What they once thought does not matter." Balin interjected, "They now hope to model much of their law on Dwarf volumes we brought with us."

Balin and Fili translated and discussed law throughout the day with a number of learned men in the library. Fili was growing up quickly, Thorin noticed. His beard and moustache were long enough to braid, and he took meticulous care with them. His already stocky frame added two stone of muscle in the past two years. He was no doubt an intimidating presence in the library, until the men spoke with him and realized how bright and articulate this student was.

Thorin confidently left Fili to Balin's care during the day. Kili was, again, a different matter. Thorin visited the bow maker several times a day to ensure Kili was staying out of trouble. At 60, Kili was essentially 15 in mankind development and fit in well with the bow maker and his pack of adventurous boys between age 12 and 19. Kili was the shortest apprentice, just a bit below the 12-year-old boy named Micahl. Thorin was pleased to realized Kili only looked scrawny compared to other Dwarves. Among the bow maker's boys, Kili could not be mistaken for a man-child, with his thick build and big hands and feet.

Kili was delighted to discover that Men took archery far more seriously than Dwarves. Men considered it a lynchpin of both offensive and defensive warfare. The bow maker was fond of military history, and taught the boys more than a bit of it in the course of their work. Dwarf warfare, by comparison, was often a close-quarters and underground affair. Their highest honor was reserved for hand-to-hand combatants, so the craftsmanship in Dwarf archery was less advanced. The bow maker had much to teach Kili.

Kili came back to the inn every twilight excited about what he had learned. He created complex composites for more powerful delivery of armor-piercing arrows. He was also learning to make light longbows for some Women in Bree, who hunted for sport.

"Only the most adventurous type of ladies, though. They always want to talk to me over the other apprentices, since they don't know any Dwarves." Kili informed them.

Thorin looked at him sternly. The boys were at an age where they would naturally be flirtatious, but he thought it a terrible precedent that Kili was flirting with Women rather than Dwarrowdams. Balin was able to order Fili back to his books in those instances where a female entered the law library. The bow maker, on the other hand, regarded Kili as good for business and did not attempt to chaperone him.

'Displaying him like a curiosity.' Thorin grumbled to himself. But Kili was learning a good trade, happy, and staying out of trouble. Thorin left him where he was.

The innkeeper's wife swiftly began to see the benefits of Dwarf tenants. Fili and Kili gifted her with various kitchen knives they made at the forge and she rewarded them with apple pies. She said all rumors of Dwarf behavior were untrue, except for their ravenous appetites, and in that case the stories did not come close to how much Fili and Kili could eat.

Thorin gave in to the boys pleas, and took them North for four days on a hunting trip. They came back with three fine Blue Mountain goats. The horns were prized among Dwarf archers, but Man had not seen them before. Kili used the techniques the bow maker taught him with Dwarf materials. The result was better than either two inspirations. The bow maker had Kili keep one bow forr himself, and half the profits from the sale of the rest.

Kili and Fili tanned the goat hides. Goat fur was not unsually prized among Men, but these had handsome blue-black pelts. Kili and Fili took them to a clothier to have a cape and hood made for their mother, and paid for it in part with the other hides. Thorin was pleased to see them becoming good barterers. They left nothing to waste. The boys gave the meat to the innkeepers wife - tough and tasteless it was known to be. But Kili fashioned a good meat grinder for her at the forge. It was far better than the one she had, and earned the boys another pie. Fili taught her how to cook the ground goat meat like Dis did, into balls with sweet onions and peppers to counter the gamey taste. It was not fancy, but it put meat on the table and she warmed up even more to her Dwarf guests. Kili's friend Micahl often joined them for dinner at the inn.

It was obvious to Thorin that his nephews were learning common speech differently. Fili's accent was educated, with all words enunciated perfectly. His vocabulary was doubling almost daily. Kili was another matter.

'At least learning from a book forced him to speak in complete sentences.' Thorin realized.

"You were supposed to learn proper common speech, Kili, as befitting a Prince of the Longbeards, not guttersnipe accents and vulgarities." Thorin admonished him. "Do not think that because I allow you to learn at your own pace, I have lower standards for you than for Fili. You need to represent yourself and your family well. If you cannot learn the language properly, then you will be translating with Fili and Balin and no longer at the bow makers. Also, if your friend Micahl cannot speak properly, he is not welcome for dinner."

Kili snapped to attention, minded his diction, and gently corrected Micahl at their table.

The cheerful and helpful Kili was liked by all. The smart and charming Fili was respected by the well-educated leaders of Men who passed through the law library. Thorin was pleased with them both. Business was going well at the forge. He'd had productive conversations with the grain traders. He met a number of Longbeards passing through, and was cheered to reacquaint himself with old friends. Thorin had to admit, this was the best stay in Bree he had ever had.

(*******)

A small group of Firebeards came to Bree. Thorin's Longbeards had no quarrel with them. Their tribe had been so reduced by ancient Orc wars, they were rarely seen outside of the northernmost Blue Mountain. They never ventured this far East or South that Thorin recalled.

They had been hunting Warg in the northland, and killed the few Orcs that were tending the Warg pack. The pack headed East so they followed for a while, then turned South, interested in seeing a bit more of Middle-Earth. At least, that is what the Firebeards claimed.

They were a rough looking lot. Thorin eyed the hides, carvings, and other strange trophies on their clothing and did not like that he could not place them as Orc or Warg. They had plenty of gold with them, though. They came to the forges to get weapons sharpened, and possibly buy more iron-forged goods. They talked to the forge master about where to buy the best ponies.

One approached Thorin at his anvil. Thorin was obviously Longbeard from his look and clothing. He and the Firebeard exchange the minimum greeting in Khuzdul. Thorin had no intention of offering his name.

Kili was nearby. He had cast dozens of iron arrowheads the day before, and was filing and sharpening them for the bow maker. Fili had taken a break from his law studies to help at the forge as well. Thorin did not want him to spend every day inside.

"Nice boys you have there." the Firebeard noted.

Thorin acknowledged the compliment with a slight nod but no words. Let the master smith deal with them. He did not want to invite them to conversation. They looked like trouble.

"I heard you Longbeards drowned all your hyadâkhul boys?"

Thorin did not understand his dialect, but the Firebeard looked in Kili's direction and Thorin put the pieces together. He must be speaking of the old wives tale about beardless boys being sickly, that they should be drowned at birth for the good of the tribe. Thorin was not pleased that this Firebeard pointed it out. A polite Dwarf would not have said anything, especially since Kili was starting to get some scruff on his chin at last. He was not so different looking.

"That is a filthy lie." Thorin told him tersely. "Longbeards do not kill babies."

"Glad to hear it. A terrible waste, if you ask me. There's nothing better to keep the troops happy on a long campaign. Any chance he is for sale or rent?"

(******)

Balin sighed as he came to determine their bond.

"Really, Thorin? You had to get the lads involved, too? This will be very embarrassing when I explain to the solicitor why Fili was absent today."

Fili and Kili grinned from behind the bars while Thorin seethed. They had been on their best behavior this entire trip, constantly reminded by Balin and Thorin that they had to set a perfect example of Dwarf manners and civilized behavior. They'd let more than a few snipes and rude comments pass that would have been met with a fist back home. They hadn't even wrestled with each other, for fear they would give the wrong impression. It was Thorin who broke the dam, and started a brawl with five Firebeards that spilled over into the public square. Kili and Fili merely joined in to defend him. They'd never even met Firebeards before. Now, they could say that they trounced them.

There'd been more fighting when they were taken to the jail. The guards had mistaken blond Fili for a Firebeard and nearly put him in the wrong cell. Thorin's bail was set high as a result, while the Firebeards were already gone - fines paid and escorted to the outskirts of town.

"What set this off?" Balin asked.

"Never mind!" Thorin roared. "Just get us out of here!"

"I can get the boys out now, but will have to get an advance on your wages tomorrow to pay for you."

"No!" Thorin said. "Get Fili out and take him to the solicitor's house for the night, not the inn. Stay with him. I will keep Kili here with me in case those Firebeards sneak back into town."

"You'd rather your sister's youngest spent a night in jail? " Balin asked, aghast.

"I don't mind!" Kili jumped up, no doubt thinking how very impressive that would sound when he returned home and regaled boys his age with tales of his adventures in Bree.

"I am not leaving Kili!" Fili protested.

"Silence, both of you!" Thorin snapped.

"Hmm." Balin pondered, "I think I shall have a word with the Constable."

(************)

Balin came back with the Constable.

"Charges are dropped."

The Constable opened the cell door and offered Thorin his hand. Thorin was surprised but shook it. The boys stood in awe of Balin at that moment.

As they walked back to the inn, Thorin asked, "What do we have left after the bribe?"

"No bribe." Balin said. "I just talked to the man. By the way, he emptied the garrison to run after those Firebeards and make sure they do not double back. We can rest easy tonight."

Fili was dying to know, "What did you tell them, Balin, to let us out?"

"Those were not typical Firebeards, boys, I assure you. Don't condemn the whole tribe over a few that have no doubt gone a little crazy off by themselves for too long. But for the sake of appealing to the Constable, I thought of every insulting thing we Dwarves say about the other tribes, and every ridiculous fairy tale Men tell about Dwarves, and spoke it like it was true about that lot. I explained that your Uncle was that rare kind of respectable Dwarf, trying to defend his family. Next thing I know, you're free."

"You mean you fed an ignorant Man more ignorance, and convinced him he is now an expert on Dwarves?" Thorin shook his head.

"Yes." Balin admitted.

"What are those stories?" Kili asked.

"No, Kili." Thorin snapped.

"I will tell you later." Fili whispered.

"Fili does not know, either." Thorin eyed them sharply. "Trust me on that."

(*************)

Three days later.

Balin stopped by the forge late in the day to talk to Thorin. "The Constable asked me to take a look at another group of Dwarves coming in to town, to see if he should let them in or drive them off."

Thorin erupted in indignation. "See what you have done, encouraging their fear? They treat all our folk like wild animals now! Just because they elevate you to pass judgment on our kind does not make it any better."

"Do you really want more of that bad lot of Firebeards in Bree?" Balin asked, "Staying at our inn now that the proprietress thinks Dwarves are the finest guests ever?"

"Enough." Thorin was in no mood to debate, "What about them?"

"They are Firebeards, but a decent sort. Regular warriors, not mercenaries. As soon as they saw me, they confided they are hunting rogues. A band of five. I told them they are a few days ahead and still on foot. I told them to trust the Constable, and he invited them to spend the night in the barracks. He will show them exactly were those rogues were headed. I paid for a good dinner and a barrel of ale sent over for them, and told them to come by this forge in the morning, that you would see they are supplied before they head out."

"Aye, I will repair their weapons and pay for anything that they need. Did they say what this lot did, to warrant a search party flung that far from their home?" Thorin asked.

"They did many unspeakable things."

(*****)

The following morning, the group of eight Firebeards greeted Thorin. The ferrier that shared the forge checked their ponies' shoes at Thorin's request.

"Longbeards have been good neighbors." their leader said. "We are grateful for any help you can give us."

Thorin checked their weapons. He had Kili fetch bundles of arrows he had made for himself, fit for Dwarves, since they had two archers with them.

"Thank you, lad." the Firebeard leader ruffled Kili's hair and complimented him on his craft.

When Kili left, he asked Thorin, "Your son?"

"Nephew."

"I heard there was a brawl between you and the ones we seek. I was surprised they would interfere with Longbeards. They seemed to limit themselves to Firebeards and Blacklocks, thinking we were too few to mount a search. They must be growing bolder."

"Not bold as much as foolish. They tried to buy my nephew. They were apparently so far removed from our ways, they thought the offer would not draw Longbeard ire." Thorin replied.

"You are lucky they did not lure him out of your sight instead. We had to bury a Dwarfling along the trail. When he could not keep up carrying all of their packs, they cut his throat."

Thorin had never heard of such a thing among their own kind. Even in the old days of war between tribes, Dwarves would never kill a Dwarfling of their enemies unless their own life hung in the balance. The young were sacred.

"You will have Longbeard help in this." Thorin promised. "I will send descriptions of the five to the Longbeards back in Blue Mountains, East to the Iron Hills, and to the few of us who remain in the North. We will help if we can. What do you think happened to them, to turn them this way?"

"Who can say? We want to tell ourselves they were corrupted. They had been part of a legendary group of elite Orc hunters. Perhaps their mission encountered a dark force that overpowered the protection Mahal gave us. Maybe they saw too much and lost their minds. Now they suffer from a collective madness that feeds on each other's sickness. My theology student believes it is the result of the loss of hope. Our numbers dwindle, as do the Blacklocks. Perhaps we are not fated to continue in Mahal's grand experiment, and they feel a divine calling to bring about the final judgment."

"We have no answers, and we expect none." one of the other Firebeards shrugged. "If we are able to take any of them alive, I doubt they will ever be able to explain it to themselves."

"We are told they are heading East of Misty Mountains, answering a call to a dark place in Rhovanion. That is all we know." their leader offered.

"No dark forces call Dwarves." Thorin stated gravely.

"They do now. These Dwarves have partnered with the Orcs they once hunted. They stole food from our granary, weapons from our armory and sold them to Orcs. They have been traveling East through the towns of Men, spending their treasure."

"They had plenty of coin on them." Thorin noted, a suspiciously high amount for Firebeard mercenaries.

The two archers distributed Kili's bundles of arrows, and Thorin noticed the unusual leather strapping that one had on his haversack.

"Where did you get that?" Thorin asked.

"The rogues have been discarding things along the way. They left quite a bit behind after they disposed of the child they were using as a pack animal. There was some old brigandine armor. We are not in a position to waste anything."

"I will fetch you a sturdy new sack if you but give me those pieces of leather." Thorin asked.

"It is yours, you have been so generous."

(**********)

Thorin stared reverently at the battered old pieced of metal-studded leather in Balin's hands.

"Even if another had admired and replicated it, no one would know what was on the inside of his armor. Look."

Balin complied. "Certainly it is Thrain's armor, but how many times might it have changed hands? Would those rogue Dwarves tell you the truth of where they found it? Would the Orcs they got it from even be alive? Tell me this is not the quality of lead that sends you away for a year at a time?"

"It is not just a clue, it is a sign. You will take Fili and Kili back to Blue Mountains immediately." The boys began to protest and Thorin shushed them. "You will not stay in Bree unsupervised, and Balin needs to go North to the Firebeard stronghold. You can question all who knew those rogues, Balin, they will talk to you. My wages so far will pay for my journey."

"I understand, Uncle." Fili said. "We are grateful for the time we have already had here."

"Fili speaks for himself." Kili grumbled. "I would go home early to my mother for any other reason than chasing ghosts."

"Not ghosts." Thorin corrected him "My father is not dead. I have no body to mourn. You do, and I know it is a tragedy. But grieving is a luxury compared to my endless uncertainty. I have no proof that my father does not suffer, just beyond my reach."

"Everyone else has given Thrain up for dead." Kili said quietly. Fili and Balin looked down at the table. Kili's words were true, but were never said in front of Thorin.

"When you speak your grandfather's name again, I expect you to say it with reverence. If you cannot master the appropriate tone, then add Prince before his name." Thorin warned.

"Then I must use Prince. How can I revere what I do not know?" Kili pushed back.

"I know him, and he knows me like no one else does. He was the only other one to look upon a throne that was supposed to be his and never have it. The only other one to have immeasurable wealth and lose it in a day. The only other one to be responsible for an entire tribe of people and see them homeless and hungry. He is my father - he knows I will always look for him, just as I know he would always look for me."

"My father was the only one who knew me, too." Kili yelled at him. "No one else wants to, but at least I keep asking! Everyone begs to know you, especially Fili, but you don't want anyone to know you."

Fili rushed to his brother's side and removed Kili before Thorin's anger bested him and he said or did something that could not be taken back.

Balin tried to gently reason with Thorin. "Think of this from their eyes. Every time you leave, you tell them that the slimmest chance of another family is more important than the family you have made with them."

"I have always put their safety first! I have given up searches for my Father many times to make Blue Mountain livable for our people, including them. I work now to provide for my sister and her sons!" Thorin replied defensively.

"That is not the point, Thorin." Balin insisted. "They miss you. Fili is rooted like his father. He knows his place in the world. He thrives on responsibilities but still, he looks to you for guidance. Kili is adrift since he lost his father. He needs more time and a patient hand. He is hurt that you are with him long enough for him to get used to you, and think you will stay, and then you leave. You promised four months - it has been less than two and you are leaving tomorrow?"

"More care, more time...inventing ways to get Kili to do what should come naturally to any normal Dwarfling, such as have respect for his elders!" Thorin argued.

"Thorin! Mind your words! Kili's words were rashly chosen but his points are not wrong. You just said uncertainty is worse than grief and yet these boys never know when you will leave, or if you will come back. If you knew them, you would realize that."

"What would you have me do?" Thorin implored. "What if my father is suffering somewhere? Am I to do nothing?

Balin sighed. "Stop. Each decision is a crossroads. Your father taught me that. One path is to follow those Firebeards and hope that they tell you something truthful and useful. Those are faint odds, as you know. But what was your other path? What would you be walking away from if you went searching for Thrain tomorrow? I need you to tell me exactly what was on your mind. What were you about to do the moment before you saw this old piece of your father's armor?"

Thorin paused. Balin was right, Thrain had always told him to do the same thing. What had he been thinking about the moment before he saw his father's armor?

Thorin walked out of the room, looking for Kili. He was in the kitchen with Fili, where the boys often retreated when they missed their mother. They liked to talk to the innkeepers wife and barter a few snacks in exchange for washing dishes and sharpening knives. She adored them now, and knew the boys were terribly unhappy this night.

Thorin grabbed Kili in an embrace. "My good boy. I do not know what I would do if anything happened to you."

(**********)

The innkeepers wife set out mugs of spiced cider, and bread and jam, and left the four Dwarves alone in the kitchen.

Thorin faced the boys. "I still have to go. I agree with Balin - this is a hardly a clue, but it is a valuable sign. If my father were here, he would help those Firebeards chase down those rogues, who had done such harm to their own people. I cannot let them harm another Dwarfling. That is what my father is telling me. It is my duty to do this, and to teach you both what an honorable Dwarf should do. I wish you two were old enough to come with me, but you are not. Once these rogues are caught, I will come straight home to the Mountains. I will take you both North, to see how our Firebeard allies fare, and offer our help if needed. Then, we will plan a second trip to Bree for work and to continue your apprenticeships. But for now, we must all leave Bree in opposite directions. I am sorry."

Fili nodded, "You are doing the right thing, Uncle."

"This is a good plan." Balin smiled.

"I will be right back." Kili said.

He came back with his new bow, an elaborate composite made from the Blue Mountain goat horn, sinew, and yew.

Kili handed it to Thorin, "It was to be your Durin's Day gift, but you may still be gone then. You need this now. There will be open territory, and you will need to hunt."

Thorin was touched, "No, Kili, this is the best one you have ever made."

"The best I have made so far." Kili agreed, "I will make better because you gave me this chance. Besides, you can see it is sized for a grown Dwarf. I made it with you in mind."

Thorin unlaced the pieces of Thrain's brigandine, separating them into the forearm bracers that they once were. "These are your Durin's Day presents." He gave the right bracer to Fili, and the left to Kili. "This was your grandfather's armor."

The boys admired the pieces.

"The leather was once red?" Fili asked.

"Yes, that was my father's favorite color. On his 75th birthday, his own father held a great celebration for him. Hundreds of young Dwarrowdams attended. Each was eager to gain my father's attention, and each was wearing Erebor blue. One lass came in a red dress, thinking she had dressed to please herself, not the Prince. That is how your grandparents met."

"Wait, was red his favorite color before or after he met Grandmother?" Fili asked.

Thorin laughed, "I never thought to ask him that question!" Fili was so bright - he took nothing for granted.

"Look on the back." Thorin knew Fili would be especially pleased by what they saw.

There were faded runes written in metallic blue ink.

"He wrote his favorite verses of the Unrùm inside all of his armor. You only have a piece, but I expect you two to have figured out which verse you have by the time I get back. Do not think to cheat and ask your mother." They all glanced at Kili knowingly and he blushed.

Thorin realized that this night, he had probably told the boys more about their grandfather than he had told them all their lives.

"I will miss you boys more than you can imagine." Thorin knew he would. His father was a memory, while the boys were here, and real, and needed him. This was his crossroads. He faced a choice to leave everything behind to look for his father, or live his life as if his father was always beside him. The best Thorin could do now, for everyone that he loved, was to make the memory of Thrain live on in his grandsons.


End file.
